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Jul. 10th, 2008 @ 02:19 pm
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So I'm bored at work so I decided to try and take a picture of myself. This is what I got. Note: I have to take my piercings out while I work because I guess teachers should look professional. If they only knew! =P |
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Jul. 9th, 2008 @ 12:13 am
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Man my profile picture on here is like a year old, but I can't seem to take a good picture. Sure, it may be because I'm ugly, but that's another story. Maybe one day I'll get really good at photoshop and make myself look sexy and all that jazz. Oh well.
I've been having trouble sleeping lately. I'm not sure what it is.. I'm tired, but I just can't fall asleep. It's like my body is tired but my brain just won't shut up. And of course the longer it takes me to go to bed the more frustrated and awake I become. :sigh: Then I go to work all tired and it's hard for me to deal with all the kids. Maybe I should take some sleeping pills.... |
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Jul. 7th, 2008 @ 02:18 pm
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:sigh: I am doing livejournal at work because my kids have free time right now. Such a long day. I swear these kids are a headache!!!! Eek anyway I gotta help some kids right now! >.< Be back later!!!! :D |
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Jul. 6th, 2008 @ 04:42 pm
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Quick question.. does anybody have a 'plus' account? And is it worth it? I'm thinking of grabbing it.. it's only like $2 a month and it seems like it has some pretty useful stuff.. Also, if I get it, it'll be more pressure for me to update this thing regularly because i'm paying for it. =P Thoughts?Current Mood:  indifferent |
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It's been a while since I've used this.. I wonder if anybody will even read this. I suppose I stopped using it because I realized nobody wants to hear a happy person talk about their life. I was at a very uneventful point, just waiting for my life to start again. Now I'm back home, and to be honest I've been doing really well. But I feel a shit spell coming on. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. There is nothing wrong, and yet I feel sad. I feel alone. I went to church twice since I came home, and I realized they don't have any answers for me. I don't know what to do.
I'm having a hard time adjusting to living with my family again. I love it and hate it. No privacy, and I'm struggling to get use to the fact that I don't have to just worry about myself. The girl I use to be in love with is turning out to be my best friend. And it's hard because everyone in my family loves her, and always tells me how pretty she is. I told them she's a lesbian. In retrospect I think it's because I'm too embarassed to tell my family that their son/brother isn't attractive enough to get a girl like her. Or any girl, for that matter.
Thank God for work though. It keeps me busy. I'm teaching multimedia to first to fifth grade kids. Speaking of which, if anybody has any ideas on what to teach them, I'm all ears. (I've got two weeks left and I'm running out of things to do!!!)
Well... I suppose I've done enough babbling considering it's been like five months since I've last wrote. If any of my friends are still here, hello and I'm sorry I dissappeared. Until next time, Matt.Current Mood:  melancholy |
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I woke up at 6:30 today, and I was tweaking out because I couldn't go back to sleep. I hear my room mate in the kitchen, so I got up to use the bathroom and to ask him why on earth he was awake this early on a saturday. He tells me he's making dinner. After both stating that it's 6:30, he looks at me and says "pm...." I've never been so confused in my life. Apparently I slept ALL day. Granted the night before I only slept one hour, and I went to bed at around 4, I was still completely shocked. Oh well... there's always tomorrow right? =P
Feb. 10th, 2008 @ 04:27 am
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Today, I've been in the best mood ever. I don't know why. I just feel, happy. I can't stop smiling. I wonder if this is what 'normal' people feel like? I wish everyday was like this. I feel like one of those people in a cheesy musical and I want to just get up and start dancing! Haha... anyway, have a good day everyone!
Feb. 7th, 2008 @ 07:05 pm
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Seriously though, school is killing me. And I think I'm getting sick. I am constantly tired. I don't even have the energy to play video games anymore. And oddly enough, for some reason, I can't sleep! What the hell is wrong with me....
Feb. 7th, 2008 @ 03:20 am
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So my sister called me today and asked me who I was voting for. I told her I don't know. She said republican or democrat? I said probably republican. Then she got really mad and started yelling at me. Am I a bad person to say something just to see what her reaction would be? I don't consider myself a republican, but I know she's a hardcore democrat. I just wanted to see what she would do if I told her I was a republican. She yelled at me, told me I was ignorent spoiled rich kid, said she disowns me as a brother and hung up on me. Man... gotta love family! I love the fact that she went to an ivy league college and I go to a community college and she's never worked a day in her life and I've been working since I was 17 and then she calls me an ignorent spoiled rich kid. I was kind of hoping for a more mature reaction.. I mean you may not agree with someone's ideas but at least be respectful about it.. Oh well.
And on a side note, I suppose you can call me a conservative democrat. Or perhaps a liberal republican? Who knows anymore. God I hate politics.
Moving on, I havn't shaved for several days. I'm trying to see how long I can go before I drive myself crazy and shave it. I think I'm doing this mostly because I'm too lazy to shave...
I think tomorrow I'm gonna make spam musubi's. Everybody here thinks I'm crazy for eating spam. I don't really get what the big deal is. Where I'm from everybody eats spam.. it's tastey and delicious! Then they tell me how gross it is and how you don't know what on earth it is made of. But really.. you're telling me you really know what's in that hot dog of yours or those chicken nuggets you ate the other day or perhaps that big mac you just ate?
Yesterday I had my abnormal psychology class. I met a really cute korean girl. We started talking and I think we really connected. We were laughing and actually making faces at each other. (Something I havn't done in years!) Anyway, we were talking on the subway and apparently she has a boyfriend. God I have such bad luck. And I thought she was flirting with me. I guess that just goes to show how good I am at picking up on signals hah. Okay well I need to shower so I guess I'll see you all later! Peace!
Feb. 3rd, 2008 @ 12:44 am
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So who wants to be my valentine? I don't want to be alone yet again this year...
Jan. 31st, 2008 @ 08:16 pm
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Okay so I think the bottom line is I have a really messed up sleep cycle. I have classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at 10:00 am, 10:00 am, and 8:30 am respectively. However, I feel like I'm still stuck on Hawaii time. I go to sleep at around 5 am, and wake up anytime from 1-6 pm. (On the days I don't have to wake up early.) So what I think I need to do is just get myself to a normal sleep cycle. The problem is I function so well at night.. a lot better than I do during the day. I'm just naturally a night person. To be honest, I love night. It is so quiet and peaceful, everyone is resting, and the world just seems so calm. Especially here in Boston, where the days are so intense and stressful... just sitting and watching people tires me out... I watch them hustle by completely stressed out...
Anyway, for some reason today I'm really irritable. I'm not quite sure why.. I was just sitting in class and getting annoyed by everyone in there. I think it's my medication - Dexedrine. For those of you who arn't familiar with it, it's basically like an intense ritalin. But it usually doesn't make me feel this way so I'm not sure.
I just finished my first class and I have a two hour break until my next one. I'm tired... maybe I can take a nap somewhere around here.... I'm off to go look. Bye everyone!
Jan. 30th, 2008 @ 11:33 am
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Sooo it's 6:00 pm and I just woke up... wtf is wrong with me?
Jan. 29th, 2008 @ 06:06 pm
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I woke up 4 and a half hours ago and I just took some sleeping pills. I figure the less time i am awake the faster it will go by...
Jan. 27th, 2008 @ 09:00 pm
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I feel sad. I feel alone. I need friends..
Jan. 27th, 2008 @ 03:16 am
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I feel alone. I feel like I am stuck in a tiny cell and I've put my head on auto-pilot because I can't even handle how shitty I feel right now. I am so home sick. I miss my family. I miss my dog. I miss my room. I miss everything. And everywhere I go I see people together with friends having fun and talking and enjoying life. I feel like I'm missing out on life. I look at them and I know what the meaning of life is. It's to be happy.. content.. to be able to live with a smile and to have hopes and dreams and ambitions. I don't know. I guess I'll keep on going; turning my head off and just jumping into the ocean and just let the currents sweep me to where ever it's going.. And hope it will land me in a better place. Time flies when you turn off your brain.. when you take off your thinking cap. Just remember... In two days tomorrow will be yesterday... Time has a funny way of moving forward even when it feels like the world has stopped moving. The next time you think time is going so slow.. remember this.. everything you know and have experienced was done in the past. I wrote this in the past. You're reading this in the past. So really, there is no stopping it. So why not just sit back and drift in the water. Because after all... In two days tomorrow will be yesterday. Everything we do is in the past. So I guess there's really no need for me to be home sick, because I'm going home. Four months. Four months will soon be in the past, just like the last four, and the four before that. I remember in sixth grade thinking that I'm going to be graduating high school in a very long time, but it will happen before I know it. Now I'm 21 and in college. I was right. And now, I sit here at my computer, thinking that I won't go home in a very long time. If any of you are my friend in four months, I'll tell you, "I told you so." Time has a funny way of passing a lot faster than you realize. I suppose this is just a rant to make myself feel better. To take away all my pain with the realization that it will end soon. Even if it's not for a very long time, it will happen very shortly. Much like when I started writing this. I'm done, and I think to myself how fast time went by... How fast my day went by.. How fast my life has gone by. I suppose this is just a natural defense that we have as creatures.. To be able to drift in and out of our lives.. To be able to seperate ourselves when we are suffering, but I feel in doing so I often seperate myself from enjoyment as well. I will have to remember, the next time I'm happy, to take it in. To go into manual. It will happen a lot sooner than I think. And you'll be hearing about it before you know it.
I'm sorry if this didn't make much sense.. it was more of a free write in my brain. Just thinking out loud I suppose.. or quietly in my head and on the blog in this case? Gah I think I'm just too tired. Woke up at 7:00 am and it's now 3:30 am. And I havn't been sleeping much. Or eating much. Oh well. Good night everyone. I'll see you before you know it.
Jan. 26th, 2008 @ 03:00 am
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You and your family are hiding in your house because a group of people are trying to kill you all. Your baby starts to cry. If you let your baby continue to cry, they will find you and kill you all. Your only options are to either let the baby cry, or cover your babies mouth to stop it from crying. However, if you cover your babies mouth, you will end up soffocating it. What do you do?
Jan. 24th, 2008 @ 06:23 pm
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....Please?
Jan. 24th, 2008 @ 02:45 pm
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I had my first day of school today and it was pretty exciting. I'm taking a lot of fun classes. Ethics, Counseling, Human Growth, Abnormal Psyc, and Alg. I had all except Abnormal Psyc. today and they all seemed pretty interested. Granted I'm a little tired, I feel a lot better going out and actually being productive. Also, I went to my old work place and put in an app for a retire. (I worked at Barnes and Noble.) Although I was in the music section, I applied for the cafe because 1. it pays more and 2. the people seem a lot more fun! So that has been my day. Time to relax! ^_^
Jan. 24th, 2008 @ 08:47 am
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Sorry I havn't been updating lately.. The last couple days I've been really busy. I finally got into Boston last night, and I am freezing my ass off. It's in the single digits when you include the windchill. I think my body is going through shock. From 80 to 7 in 24 hours. Hah. I start school in 2 days. I'm really excited. I've decided I'm going to try and make friends this semester. Anyway, I'm going to try to post more often. Oh, and I'm gonna start recording some music so I'll keep you guys in the loop on that!! And I forgot, I had a partial song that I wrote last semester on a myspace page. It's a lot different from what I usually write, so just to warn you. http://myspace.com/matthewterada is the link. I did everything except the drums which I just sampled. Note that it's no where close to being done, but I thought why not. So anyway, until next time, Peace!!
**EDIT** I just went to CVS and I realized it's almost Valentine's Day and I'm alone yet again. God so depressing. Soooooo who wants to be my Valentine?!! ^_^ I'm just sick of being alone EVERY year!! </3
Jan. 22nd, 2008 @ 05:05 am
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44 hours left. 44 hours then I have to wait another 4 months before I can come home... God I don't want to go back to Boston...
Jan. 18th, 2008 @ 07:58 pm
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